Sean Dyche flees UK as Everton rumors intensify

Sean Dyche has been noticed fleeing the UK as odds shorten on him turning into the brand new supervisor of Everton.

Paddy Energy Information understands that the previous Burnley gaffer, petrified on the considered having to save lots of the Merseyside membership from relegation this time period, was seen boarding a ferry sure for Belgium at Dover this morning, disguised as a nun.

“It was undoubtedly him” an onlooker advised us, “I acknowledged that ginger bum fluff protruding from beneath his hood.

“I’ve by no means heard a nun with a voice as tough as that.”

This allegation was backed up by a member of workers working on the ferry port who defined how they’d beforehand seen vacationers disguise themselves in non secular clothes.

“I bear in mind when Max and Paddy from Phoenix Nights tried to get by customs with the ‘altar wine’.”

Shut associates of Dyche advised us that he has been “incommunicado” since Everton misplaced at West Ham on Saturday.

“Sean has been apprehensive ever since his identify was linked with The Toffees job. He is determined to get again into work however like he stated, not that f****ng determined.

Goodison Park

“I might fairly stack cabinets in Aldi than coach that bunch of no-marks” is known to have been his final phrases to mates earlier than his disappearance, though Aldi head workplace confirmed to us that that they had not acquired an software from Dyche.

On the time of going to press, we had been nonetheless ready for affirmation from Ostend that any particular person becoming Dyche’s description had bought off the boat.


We contacted Everton Soccer Membership this morning to get the most recent on who was on their shortlist to interchange the beleaguered Frank Lampard;

“We won’t actually say an excessive amount of at this stage” a membership spokesperson advised us.

“Though Mr Lampard’s car-parking area is being repainted as we converse.”

Once we defined to them that we thought Dyche had achieved a runner, they replied:

“If Mr Dyche appears like that then its actually unlucky. We would have supplied him a job share as there’s an Aldi lower than two miles from right here which has a good soccer workforce. I believe Franny Jeffers often seems for them.

“What I can let you know is that whoever takes over at Goodison Park must be 100 per-cent centered on getting us out of the Championship subsequent season. Now you will should excuse me as I’ve bought Steve Bruce on line two.”

*Paddy Energy’s breaking information protection is 110% nonsense


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